Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Celtic Illumination, part 395, Delia, The Devil and me.

For those of you who noticed, I’m very sorry.  For those who didn’t; carry on.  Some sort of illness had me in its grip and everything just went from bad to worse.  I don’t really want to tell you about it, as it would feel I was after some sympathy but what happened was interesting.  I sort of lost all strength in my body, couldn’t stand without going dizzy, and couldn’t walk more than ten feet without thinking my heart was coming out through my chest.  Then the sleep pattern went skew whiff, to say the least.  I missed one day between part 394 and 395, which annoyed me as I have always claimed writers and artists use these things as excuses.  However, the worst possible thing that could happen came along, as the black dog decided to give me a short visit.
This is so different than the so called writer’s block, as I knew exactly what I wanted to write about next, but I couldn’t be bothered.  I felt that I had to inform you, The Illuminati, but again couldn’t be bothered.  This is not an insult to you, but simply a statement of fact that many of you who are familiar with the black dog, or as normal people call it, depression, know that you have to suffer your way through it.  Yet while in the pits of despair things got even worse as I lost all confidence in my writing.  On the one side of my brain, running in a sort of loop, was the next blog, me, Delia and the Devil, all skittering about, funny situations lining up that would hopefully make you, The Illuminati, smile, while on the other side of my brain I was asking who in their right mind would want to read this sort of shit.
It’s not very nice sitting there watching your confidence slide away from you, so rather than not being able to write anything, you can’t.  I could mention other writers who have endured similar setbacks, but I shall not. And then, the strangest thing of all happens.  Way down, deep in the darkness of the mind I found a diamond.  As you know the blog is being turned in to three novels and the most important aspect, for me, at the moment, was to find the opening line for the first novel, and there it was.  I found it.  Couldn’t really celebrate but I knew that the line was perfect and was able to scribble down some notes as to what should follow.  So perhaps the journey was worth it.  The black dog is still sitting there watching me, I can smell it’s damp coat and it knows it is not welcome.  I’m looking forward to getting a full night’s sleep but more importantly I’m looking forward to hopefully making you all smile again.  Perhaps, this is a sign that things are getting better.
Normal service will hopefully resume shortly.

Himself

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